~Searchin For My Lost Shaker o' Salt...

Cleopatra and Chocolate Cake.

2009-07-08T20:31:00.003-04:00

All right, so it's been over a month since I've posted. Pretty much, my life has been on hiatus. I am enjoying the lazy summer and instead of constant bad luck, I seem to be at a null. The most exciting thing to have happened is counting down the days until our family trip to the Florida Keys. YAYYY!!!

But then....

I started a new book this week, and as I turned a page in this book, a fortune cookie fortune paper fell out.

"Soon you will be sitting on top of the world."

I was giddy, excited that a happy new fun chapter might be starting in my life. That was a Sunday night.

It is now Wednesday. It's been a pretty good week.

I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my li'l sis, just me and her, which has been really great. I also found out that my dad is a brilliant cook. Reading the new book has also put me in this really good mood this week...it's called "The Memoirs of Cleopatra", so (duh) it's all about the beloved Queen of the Nile. Just reading about how strong and amazing she is kind of rubs off on me and makes me walk around trying to be that way as well.

So, on Monday at work at the hotel, in walk these two young guys in suits. They're here for a week on business. I don't pay a lot of attention to them at first, being that I'm on this dating fast for a while and have no desire to be in any way involved with any man...however, one of them keeps dropping these comments to his co-worker about rockclimbing, working out, macho stuff, blah blah blah. This makes me roll my eyes literally, of course.

But, then, a little while later, one of the guys comes back downstairs to make his way out to the gym -- the guy that had been bragging about rockclimbing and all that jazz. I actually observe him this time, however, and he's pretty cute. Tan, dark hair, and these gorgeous big gray eyes. He asks me if the gym is across the street and, distracted by observing his looks, I say, "Oh yeah. And there's a tanning bed, too." Insert foot in mouth #1. He just looks at me.

"Uhh, tanning bed?"

The phone rings, saved by the bell. I'm red in the face beyond belief and can't believe that statement had really just come out of my mouth.

The next day I see him again, and he makes a comment about the tanning bed, so the hopes I'd had before about how maybe he hadn't heard me when I'd said it flew out the window. I then said, "Hey, your partner just walked out the door to go get food."

Wow. Insert foot in mouth #2.

"Partner?" He asks. "First the tanning bed, and now my partner? You must think I'm gay."

"Uh, I put my foot in my mouth a lot," I joke.
"Oh yeah?" he says, grinning. "How does it taste?

Then he asks me out for dinner with him, so I feel relieved that he actually has a sense of humor.

Unfortunately, I'm working so I can't go to dinner with him that night.

So, we talk for quite a while that night, and I learn that he is not only getting more and more extremely good looking as he keeps talking, but he's also intelligent, he's got a masters degree at only 23, and we have some unusual, but refreshing things in common. He also likes to keep eye contact 100% of the time as he's talking to you, so I tried my best to do the same. It was hard. I almost passed out.

I hated to leave last night. I wanted to keep talking and getting to know him.

But today was the kicker. He came in and talked for a bit and then, when he came back from dinner, he had a bag in his hand.

"I brought you chocolate cake," he grins. I just stared at him. I wasn't sure if he was being serious. Did he realize just how much I am obsessed with chocolate?

"Are you trying to win my heart?" I ask him.
"Hmmm, who knows," is his coy reply.

This is the best chocolate cake I've ever had in my life and ol' Gray Eyes is definitely winning points with currently Man-Hating Tabitha.

Stay tuned.....

Case of the Bad Luck Blues

2009-06-04T21:26:00.002-04:00

So, I've had a surge of empowerment tonight, and I'm not sure exactly why, but thank God for it.
I've had the worst luck these last two weeks. Allow me to share:

1.) The BAD break-up.
2.) I was walking across school campus minding my own business, when I was suddenly attacked by a random goose on the campus lawn. It chased me 100 yards as I was squealing before the maintenance man came out and saved me.
3.) I was simply picking up a champagne bottle out of my car to take in the house and the cork randomly exploded out of the bottle and popped me in the face.
4.) I was left stranded downtown in Athens this weekend by my "friends".
5.) I was pursued and asked out by a really great guy. He said he'd call Monday night to make plans for the weekend. It is now Thursday night, and I have not heard from him.

What the hell? I mean, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I'm a good catch. I don't want a relationship, but some fun dates/attention from a good looking member of the opposite sex would be appreciated.

Looks like the only man a woman can count on these days is Captain Morgan. Ah, God bless him.

How do you fall in love with your life?

2009-06-02T20:05:00.000-04:00

I want to be in love with my life again.

How do I accomplish this?

How do I fall in love with my life again? What is it that makes me actually be in love with my life? Is it the adoration from a man? Is it doing well in school? Is it excelling at work? Is it making and saving money? Is it being with friends? Is it meeting new people and networking? Is it spending lots of time with my family? Is it taking up new hobbies, or trying new things? Facing my fears? Being completely independent and not relying on my parents to take care of me anymore? Obsessively writing more, as I used to do?

What is it that makes me fall in love with my life? What is it that makes anyone fall in love with his or her life?

There are some things that have happened to me lately that have not been good. I constantly think about karma—about the way that I have treated people in the past, and I wonder if this is my karma being served to me.

I vowed to make 2009 a good year, no matter what obstacles were thrown at me. I was doing pretty well with this until recently. I’ve been working hard in school. I’ve been working my butt off to make money, and to save it. I’ve been more considerate of those people around me, especially my family. I stood up for what I believed in at my old hospital job and I can’t even begin to tell you how incredibly liberating that was. I finally was at a place where I said, “Okay, this isn’t where I thought I’d be at 23, but that’s okay. I’m happy, I’m doing things right, and I’m surrounded by friends and family that love me.”

The first obstacle of the year was thrown at not just me, but my family as well. We all went through something tough at the beginning of the year, but we got through it, and it brought us together even closer than before.

Now, it is June. Half of the year is gone. I have lost a best friend and someone I cared about very much in a way that was harsh. It was not on my end, but his, and sparing details that I don’t really want to go into, the person I thought I knew became someone completely different in less than a month’s time. I don’t deserve the unkind words that were shot at me, however, these words have brought me down to a level mentally that I’m not sure how to climb back up from.

Maybe it is because I am getting older and I deal with things differently than I did before, but I have not retaliated with harsh words or contact. I feel like keeping my dignity in tact is something more important than getting a point across. Uh oh. Is Tabitha growing up…?

So, what do you do when you have made plans with your life that include someone else, and then that someone else fades away on you? What kind of fresh perspective do you develop on your life? How do you transition from routine occurrences—such as abruptly being stopped from talking to someone that you’ve been talking to every day for over a year? Life seems to get more difficult as you get older, doesn’t it?

No one else can dictate your day or your mood, as my mother told me. You are in control of that. But sometimes, it’s tough to smile when you feel crummy inside and it’s tough to look in the mirror when your confidence level has significantly decreased.

Certainly time heals all wounds, doesn’t it? I don’t want to wait for time to smooth it out. This is my summer. I want to be optimistic about my life and about the people and things coming in and out of it. I know there is a reason for everything and I want to know now what the reason for the recent events in my life.

I used to think it was ridiculous when girls would say to me, “I need to meet a guy to get over my ex-boyfriend.” And I still do think this is a ridiculous concept in general, however, I now sort of see where this comes from. It would certainly do a lot for your endorphin levels and self-esteem to hear a male say, “Hey, you’re pretty cool and fun to hang out with.”

One interesting thing is that because of the recent events in my life, I suddenly feel like going out and doing and experiencing things I never have before. Things that scare me, things I’ve always been too chicken to do…

Anyway, I’m in the process of trying to figure out how to fall in love with my life. Stay tuned.

UGH!

2009-04-01T18:47:00.002-04:00

I don't know if this is going to be a very happy/funny blog as usual...

Here are some things I'm really sick of at the moment:

*Discover Card calling every phone at the Freeman residence, even though I have been paying them what they demand every month.

*Giving 110% in every job I have and not getting compensated for it.

*Cell phone service not going out to Iraq or Afghanistan.

*Stamps going up AGAIN next week.

*Doing what's best for everyone else and not me, yet getting a guilt trip when I actually try to step up and do what's best for me....even a compromise.

*Being stressed about things I have no control over or that don't matter that much.

*Group projects.

*Obama.

*Going to the gym. Why can't i just sit around and get supermodel skinny/tan while watching american idol and eating oreos?

All right, all right. I know. I should be in a more optimistic state of mind. I did just quit the worst job in the world and that really took a load off. And warm weather is finally getting here. And I'm not wasting so much money in gas...Why am I such a debbie downer?

Maybe it's because I don't even get to watch American Idol tonight because I am at work:( Boo.

I Hate Group Work

2009-03-19T12:01:00.002-04:00

Soooo....

I have two work days left until I am FINALLY done with the hospital. Woop woop!! Tomorrow and next wednesday will be my last days. *Sniffle*...oh you know I am just sooooooo sad!

Luckily, I have been given five 8 hour shifts at the Hampton and am also doing some awesome work for this amazing company called ValDevTec. Haven't heard of it? Go online at veldevtec.com. It's pretty cool and I work for a pretty phenomenal boss lady, too :)

The only problem with the new hours at the Hampton -- not that I am not grateful, because I am -- is that three of those shifts are night audits (11pm-7am) Friday through Sunday. This shoots down any social life I might try to have and also, Mom is not too keen on it. Rightfully so. I am taking two Maymester classes from 8am-2pm Mon-Fri so it's gonna be really hard to drag through those night shifts. PLUS, I have an internship at the High Museum of Art on Saturday afternoons, so what am I supposed to do about that?

I have this problem about doing what's best for everyone else and not myself and I don't know how much longer I can do this. My boss at the Hampton is one of my best buds, so bringing this up to him that I need to do what's better for me and not him is going to be tough. A part of me just wants to wait it out through the summer and see how I handle it all....Stress. When you get rid of one stress, another replaces it, seems like.

Speaking of stress, I hate group projects. Yeah, I'm an alpha-female and I'd rather just do everything in a group project because at least I know I get it done right.

But no, I try to play with the team like I'm supposed to in my Eastern Religions class and what happens?

I'm working with a bunch of 19-yr-old don't know or care what they wanna do with their lives, so they'll wait until a day before the project is due to start working on it. I'm sorry, I work 60 hours a week and try to manage this school thing -- I can't afford to procrastinate.

Here was the initial plan -- There are 5 of us. We have to research a religion, write a paper on it, and present some kind of visual to the class. Not a big deal, easy to get done, right?

Oh of course not. I'm Tabitha Freeman. God has a sense of humor.

So my part is to research the biggest part of the project -- the history and dogmas of this religion. Cool. The others do the same and one guy volunteers to compile all of our research stuff together into the paper. I keep my mouth shut, even though in the back of my mind, I hear a voice screaming, "NO TABITHA! YOU DO THIS! IT WON'T GET DONE RIGHT IF YOU DON'T!!!!"

Over a week before the project is due, I send this guy oodles of info. Two days before the project is due, he emails me back and tells me I need to put all this info in a paragraph. Apparently, he is getting everyone to write a paragraph and he's just gonna stick it together for the paper.

UH, HELLO?!! Is this going to flow right, sound right, look right? No. Is he a lazy hash smoker that doesn't feel like writing anything? Yes.

So I fire back at him in an email. I am too old for this crap and pay too much money for this class to make anything less than an A on this project.

I point out to him the cons of doing things this way and offer to just write the whole paper myself. Also, I let him know he's a freakin goober for waiting over a week to ask me to do this and he shouldn't have volunteered to compile stuff in the first place if he wasn't going to do it right. Freakin A.

So he emails me back, says he's doing what he's supposed to do and he will make everything flow right. But if it's too much to ask, he can just write my part for me. Okay, sir, that was your job in the first place, but I am COMPLETELY COMPETENT of writing my own damn stuff! So I send him my stuff. Oh God, he freaks because it is longer than one paragraph. HELLO!!!! It's over the history and doctrines of an ancient religion!!! Did he think that was just gonna be five sentences? Is he retarded? No, really. Retarded?

So he sends us the final copy THIS MORNING when the project is due in TWO HOURS. It sucks and he took out half of what I wrote, so nothing makes sense. If we make less than an A on this, he is going down in a ball of flames.

Did I mention this is the last guy I went on a date with that had mommy issues and likes to talk about the one time he crapped himself?

Should I insert "story of my life" phrase here, or is it just assumed at this point?

The guy that did the powerpoint for this was supposed to send me that. Did he? No. Do I even know if it's done? No.

So, in two hours I have a project to present and I guess we're all just gonna "wing it".

I hate group projects.

On a better note, they keep asking me to pick up all these shifts at the hospital between now and my last day because they don't have enough qualified people to cover. Oh darn. I can't. I'm busy picking my freaking nose. Good luck.

Ah, that does feel good I gotta say.

Dunzo

2009-03-12T08:29:00.002-04:00

I quit the hospital.
Well, no point in beating around the bush. I put in my two weeks notice yesterday. In a nutshell, I stood up for what I believed in, what was right, and was reprimanded for doing so in front of my other co-workers.
I am so relieved. I feel like it was the right thing to do and I've never been more excited for the next two weeks to FLY by. I could've burned bridges. I probably should have. But I chose not to, which I also feel was the right decision.
My boss at the hotel is super excited to give me more hours....I am hoping I can pick up five 8 hour shifts. I know it's full time, but when you're used to working 12-14 hr shifts, 8 hours is a blessing. Plus, it's an environment where I can do my homework, so it won't interfere with school too much.
Plus, it will be nice not to have to get up at 4:30 a.m. anymore. :)
Wow, I can't even put into words how incredibly liberated I feel.

Let's Venture Into LOW CALORIE Hell Now.

2009-03-09T13:41:00.002-04:00

So...
After five days in low carb hell, I decided maybe it wasn't the best idea. Sure, after 3 days, I'd lost 5 pounds (of water weight), however I was completely depleted of energy, couldn't go to the bathroom because I wasn't getting any fiber either, and basically the big deal breaker was the mac and cheese and chocolate cake mom made last night.
So now, 5 pounds down, I'll just be sticking to low-carb. Mom and I are going to the gym, which makes me feel better that in 30 or so days, I might just be slammin in a bikini for panama city....let's hope.
Oh sure, right now after doing some weight training excercises at the gym, I can't feel my entire upper half, but I'm sure that will pass....let's hope. I had to pop a pain pill just so my muscles would quit sobbing from pain.

Also, I can't make myself like water. I just can't do it. I thought I could if I drank enough....and I've been drinking PLENTY. But I can't. It just sucks. It's tasteless and boring and just yuck.

But I'll suck it up.

Yellow bikini, yellow bikini, yellow bikini.......

Down 5 pounds, 15 to go.

(I thought I'd give myself a few extra pounds to lose just so when I start eating again, it gives me a little weight gaining room, yeah?)

Low Carb Hell

2009-03-05T13:09:00.003-05:00

So, I would like to invite you all on my journey through starvation.
A.K.A. Low Carb Dieting.

This is my second day on this diet, and though for the first couple weeks of doing this, you're allowed around 30 carbs, I'm trying to be extreme and completely go cold turkey.
To say the least, it's hard. You know why you lose so much weight on these low carb diets?
You have like 5 choices of things to eat. No, I'm not being dramatic. EVERYTHING has carbs in it.
Now, I totally plan on incorporating good carbs into my diet again in a couple weeks, once I've dropped some pounds and gotten used to this whole cleansing my body of bad stuff....however, it's only the second day, and I feel like an Ethiopian kid.

What can you eat on this diet? Well, breakfast is easy, eggs and some kind of meat. But let's talk about the rest of the day. Steak? Ham? Turkey, maybe? Some roast beef? A salad?

Oh sure, you can go through the McDonald's drive thru looking like an idiot by ordering a Double cheeseburger without the bun. No thanks. I've always made fun of ppl like this, and I WILL not do it.

Pretty much, it's impossible to take in ZERO carbs in a 24-hour period. It just can't be done and a person actually be able to eat. You can't even eat a friggin banana because it's got like 27 carbs!

Breathe. This is my second day. I'm drinking just coffee and water.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I won't cut beer or liquor out of the equation. Just ain't happenin'.

I am going to have to break down and have a diet coke today. A BIG one. It's just one....Ha, that's like a crack addict saying, "just one line! Just ONE!"

I got to lose 15 pounds. That's what this health website is telling me is healthy for my height. Plus, I got a bathing suit picked out for the summer for the KEYS (yeah, that's right. I'm going to the KEYS! I love you, mama!) and I have a wedding to attend in May, in which my friend getting married said, "Tab, I want you to still be single. My fiance has a ton of single guy friends who want to meet you."

And I really just want my ass to stop trying to eat all my pants.

Stay tuned. I'm weighing tomorrow, we'll see how much water I flushed out with this starvation, ahem, I mean "low carb health diet".

Keep my thyroid in your prayers.

Just a post.

2009-03-03T10:25:00.001-05:00

So, it’s been a little while since I’ve blogged. There’s been some rough changes going on amongst my household, so I haven’t really been in the state of mind to write. But here’s some funnies that have been going on. . .
I got in trouble at work yesterday…you’re gonna love this. I have this really amazing picture of the Rock on the background of my computer. It’s amazing, he’s not wearing a shirt, but he’s got pants on.
Apparently, this is inappropriate for the work environment, even though at the hospital, we see about 50 naked people that DO NOT look like the Rock daily.
So, one of the nurses complains, flips out, says that she’s gonna email a major complaint to all my bosses, yada, yada, yada. It hasn’t happened yet, but stay tuned….I might get written up for having good taste.
No awkward dates lately…I know, I know, you’re falling over in your seat, can’t believe it, right? Even the decent guy I mentioned in my previous blog hasn’t really been in my focus. It’s just not a good time.
I went to the High Museum of Art in Atlanta this past weekend for my orientation for my internship/volunteer gig. I’m so excited. I absolutely fell in love with the environment. I will be an exhibition assistant, working one to two times a month. I’m also really proud of myself because I never saw myself driving in Atlanta, and let me tell you, I cruised Peachtree street like I lived there! I love it down there, too. Such a nice area…probably why there were signs everywhere advertising condos and apartments starting at….get ready for it…4.5 million. OMG! So basically, it’s a dream to live in Peachtree.
Also, I got a random phone call last week from some Indian guy that told me I was being sued and had a court date in California the next morning. He was expecting me to be scared and stupid, I think (it was a scam phone call, obviously), but I was a total smartass. I told him I couldn’t make it to California for that court date in the morning, since I’m, I don’t know, across the country. I also told him he could email me all these avadavat papers if he wanted to so I could look over them for this “lawsuit”. He eventually became uncomfortable and had to get off the phone. Really? Why is it me that gets the psychos?
Anyways, that’s it for the moment. I’m boring, I know. Hopefully some entertaining things will pick up soon. Or, maybe they won’t. I need a break from drama.

Should Honesty Coming From a Male Be Suspect?

2009-02-13T15:36:00.001-05:00

All right, time for another blog. I know it'll be hard to beat the outpouring of elation of the last blog post, but I'll try my best to at least make this one an entertaining read.

Gosh, this has been a good week.

I had a great date on Tuesday night, and it was actually kind of by accident. A classmate and I went to a Hindu temple for our religion class. This "classmate" just happened to be the best looking guy in the class that sits behind me. Lucky me. :)

So anyway, we go to this temple and it is beautiful. However, it's being renovated, so there is a little house next door that serves as a temporary worship place. Wow. Let's talk about this.

We have to take off our shoes, and as you all well know, I have a thing about feet anyway. This house has nasty carpet that is supposed to most likely be white, but is actually brown, and then the other part of it has linoleum that has got to be out of the 70's, peeling up at the corners. Yeah, did I mention I was barefoot. And so was the main guy in this place that smelled like an old, poop-filled baby diaper.

Really, I am NOT being melodramatic.

So, that's not even the worst part. I understand that we must respect different cultures and try to see the world as they do, no matter how different. Put ourselves in their shoes, you might say. I totally respect any other person in the world if they respect me, no matter what their choice in faith.

But here is the kicker.

Anytime I would speak or direct a question to this Hindu man, he blatantly ignored me. It was as if I wasn't there. Because I'm a female, I wasn't really seen as important enough to speak to. This pissed me off, big time. I totally respect other cultures, but I am person and so is this guy. I may not be wearing a head dress or a turtleneck to hide all of my skin, but if I speak to him or ask him a question, as a person, he can acknowledge me. I think my classmate might've noticed I was a little irritated at this, because we only stayed in this little house of worship for about ten minutes.

Oh, and as soon as we got outside, I was definitely saying something about the fact that I was pretty glad I was a female living in America and not overseas in India or Asia.

So, I'm writing down directions on how to get back to the freeway to go home when my classmate asks me, "Are you hungry?" Of course I'm always hungry.

So in a surprising turn of events, we end up having dinner and just hanging out for a few hours. It was a really great time. He then asked me to go to the Bodies Exhibit in Atlanta with him, which was so impressive to me. I'm so used to males my age not quite having reached the highest intelligence level yet, or an appreciation for something different beyond dinner and a movie. To spark my interest, something different is exactly what I go for. It was refreshing.
It was also refreshing that he was okay with the fact that I'd been such a spaz at dinner, talking with my hands, and accidentally snagged my earring, flipping it across the restaurant. I know. Charming.

Also, as we're leaving the restaurant hours later, I ask him again how to get back on the freeway.
"Just right there," he says, pointing straight ahead. What? Turns out, he'd driven 15 minutes out of his way so when I left the restaurant, I'd be able to get right on the freeway without making a billion turns and probably getting lost.

He immediately wanted to plan for another hang out time, so a couple days later, we went out to lunch and hung out before class. This was also just as fun. We have a lot in common, he is very very down to earth, and totally accepts the fact that I fall up stairs, generally walk right into the path of danger unintentionally -- i.e. practically falling out of his truck while trying to get out, and am completely in love with my family.

Here's the thing. Though sometimes, it's like looking in a mirror when talking to him about things, there is one big difference between us. As everyone that knows me knows....I am really outgoing and will talk to a wall if no one else is around. He's not really the outgoing bug and could very well be kind of socially awkward. Not that that's a bad thing, because it's not, it's just I never really understand shy people because I have never been introverted in ANY way. Luckily, my little sister and my mom are both socially shy, so I have them around for sound advice:)

Anyways, so my point is, at the end of hanging out, he becomes a little shy it seems, and while I am content with saying "See ya! I had a great time, call me when you wanna do something again!", I feel like something is hanging in the air with him and I almost need to reassure him that I had an awesome awesome awesome time. Plus, I work 50 hours a week, go to school, and am so obsessed about having time with my family when I'm not busy that it's hard for me to plan things right away, as I think he would rather do.

So after our second date, I sent him a text message as an extra reassurance that I had had a really great time.

"I had fun today, thank you!" ~it was something along those lines. So then I get a text message back:
"I like you a lot. I wish I would have told you earlier."

I just look at this for a second.

Here's the thing. Don't think I'm an overanalyzer. But. For a second, I go into this freak out mode. I am so used to dysfunctional guys, you have to understand. If they're not psychotic, they're assholes, and if they're not either of those, they're clingy or creepy or up and down like a roller coaster.

So. Which one is he? That is my immediate thought. I instantly dial the phone to my advice guru -- Mom.

I start rambling off a million miles a minute, telling her about this text message and trying to tell her that this is bad, bad, bad, and what's actually wrong with this guy? Why is he telling me this? He doesn't even know how crazy and unbalanced I am, how can he possibly "like" me already? And what does "like" even mean?

You know what Mom's response is?

She laughs. Hard.

She tells me I'm overanalyzing and being pessimistic and maybe, just maybe, this guy was the first guy I'd met that was actually just being upfront and wanted to let me know, "hey, tab, i like you. Just for your information."

That's it? You mean, this isn't about making it official on facebook or making me change my status on myspace? This isn't about him having some alterior motive to seriously mess up my perfect routine I have going on in my life right now? You mean, Mom, that he is possibly just being straightforward and honest?

Well, I didn't think men were capable of this.

So what do I do, I ask her. Her response is just too simple.

"Do you like him?" she asks me.
"Well, yeah," I answer.
"Tell him, 'I like you, too.', then," she says. That's it? That's all I have to do? I don't have to beat around the bush and say LOL or something stupid like that?

So I do what she says. I say, "I like you, too."
He says: "That makes me happy."

Wow. Why is that so simple? Well if it's gonna be like that, it might fit into my routine, but men are inherently evil, right, so there's gotta be some bad intention lying around here.

However, I haven't really been thinking too much about the possibility of something being wrong with him yet.

Hmmm, I guess we'll just go with the flow and see how/where this goes. So far, my routine is the same and I haven't wasted precious time, money, or gas on this guy and he hasn't really pushed for it. Usually, this is what's expected at least by the second week.

Maybe that invisible "I like assholes and psychos" sign on my forehead is finally starting to peel off.

Stay tuned.

Karma

2009-02-11T19:30:00.001-05:00

Well, I've got a funny.
Maybe it's only funny to me.
Karma. Anyone else ever heard of this? What goes around comes around? Well, I'm young, just twenty-three years old, and I hadn't really seen what this means to the full extent just yet.

Until tonight.

There is ONE person in the world that I was absolutely crazy about. Out of all of my insane relationships, I actually was pretty close to falling for this one. He broke my heart into about a million pieces.

Well, I got over it, learned a lot, yada yada yada.

Guess what, friends?

He got a very very young girl pregnant. That's right. His entire loser existence is forever trapped with some jobless, educationless girl who will have his baby.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha.

My horoscope was good today. And this furthermore proves that karma does exist. It's like when that really popular girl you went to high school with gets fat. That's how I feel.

I am in school, saving money, meeting wonderful people, and had an amazing date last night.

And the asshole that broke my heart is at the end of his road, the book on his life closing forever to remain the same.

HAHAHAHAHA!

I know, it's a mean reaction, I should be quiet about it. But I am from Ga. And the redneck in me says....

Serves you right, a**.

Ha ha ha . Have fun changing diapers while I'm advancing in my career. Ha ha h ah ah ah aha.

He's finally out of my life forever.

Yay.

Ha ha ha aha ha ha. I think this is an appropriate time for an LOL. :-)

The Bartender. 15K, Baby!

2009-01-29T11:27:00.000-05:00

I have a correction to make to my previous blog "A Letter To The Love Of My Life". Well, kind of.

You see, I met a bartender at some point before Christmas of 2008 and he blew up my phone practically. I couldn't remember what he looked like, really, because I'd been a little inebriated to say the least when I'd met him. I didn't actually run into him again, however, until after the New Year had begun. Oh, my. So this is how we start of the new year of 2009 already.

So this guy keeps texting and calling me to come to his place of work and he says he'll get me a free drink. Well, being the alcoholic that I am, I accept finally. Except, I take my mother and my best friend with me. We walk into the restaurant where he works, and while i hide behind a pillar, I ask my mom and my friend to look at him and tell me if it's a go.

My mom is laughing and my friend keeps saying, "Why does he keep walking like a hunchback?"

At this point, it's not too late, he hasn't seen me, we could go to another place to eat. So I beg.

"Please, Mom, can we just go to the Mexican resaurant???"

Oh, she's a cruel woman. Of course not. She wants to enjoy this. So they drag me over to sit down at the bar and I'm thinking, Hey, maybe he won't see me. Maybe he'll leave or get stuck int he back washing dishes.

No no no of course not. Not my luck.

He immediately sees me and makes a beeline. He ignores my friend and my mother and asks me what free drink I would like.

Eh. My mom wasn't too impressed by this. We had to flag him down practically to get him to acknowledge my mother and friend's orders.

I got a new kind of alcoholic beverage that I was excited to try, except this guy turns out to be an awful bartender and messes it up. Well, there's another ten points lost for being bad at mixing treats.

Why did he lose the first ten points, you might ask? Oh, because he was unnattractive and walked like Quasi Moto.

He comes over and starts trying to talk to me.

First, he opens his conversation with, "So you're not crying." Because apparently I'd been so drunk the first time I'd met him that I'd become teary eyed. Which, in my defense, is the first time that's ever happened in my life, and I have no idea what it was about. A Hallmark commercial had probably come on the bar t.v.
WHO SAYS THAT? Is that a good opening line to impress the girl you're trying to impress? Genius gentleman.
Then, he follows up this incredibly intelligent statement with, "So, I hear you have two jobs. So do I." Well, I honestly am impressed for a second. I can totally respect anyone that works really hard for what they want or have. So I inquire about this second job, interested.
"I gamble online. Yeah, I made 15K this year." Yes, he did say "15K".
Luckily, my mother and friend have both looked away at this point so that I can keep a straight face. Let me tell you about my REAL second job, you putz!!!

So after about fifteen minutes of recovering from learning all about this guy's incredibly ambitious lifetime goals, he comes up to me and says he has to leave because business is slow that night and that he has something cool in his car he wants to show me. I say, in the nicest way possible, that I'm not going out at 10 pm to his car with him. First of all, I wouldn't leave the people I came with, and secondly, I guess he didn't realize that I watch cold case and crime library religiously. THERE IS NO WAY I AM GOING TO HIS CAR WITH HIM.
But he just keeps pushing for me to do it. Finally, my mom puts her hand on my shoulder and says to him, "She's not going anywhere with you." (in that 'mom' voice. You know what I'm talking about.)
This probably puts the fear into him, so I say, "Hey, if it's really that cool, just bring it in here."
He just smiles and says okay and leaves.

He never comes back. He never calls. Never texts. He is gone from the face of the Earth as we know it into the online gambling matrix.

No, but seriously, getting rid of that putz was so easy for me, thanks to my mom. I am now taking her along on every date.

Ah, it's not even past the first month into 2009, and it's already started off with a BANG. Looks like there's a possibility I'm still a Magneto of Crazy Dating.

A Letter To The Love Of My Life

2008-12-17T20:00:00.000-05:00

Dearest Love of My Life,

Hey you. It's been a crazy year, and I just thought, you know, when we actually meet, if I go ahead and give you the specs of my dating life in 2008, we can just skip that conversation all together when getting to know each other.

So, we'll just not waste any time and start at the beginning of this insane year!! I know you're excited, darling...

First, there was the BIG one...the Sergeant. Oh, wasn't he just lovely! After a few months of blissful coupledom, sadly, he went completely crazy. And it hit me that it actually costs quite a bit of money to constantly commute two and a half hours for a weekend visit to see your sweetheart...and it really cleans out your bank account when you're doing this while already sinking slowly but surely into over 10,000 dollars of fabulous credit card debt. Ah, good times.

It ended badly. In fact, this was the first time in my 22 years of insane dating experience that I actually had my heart smashed--just a little. With the loving support of man-hating friends and biased family members (wink wink ;) ), I made it through this rough period of life verrrry quickly. Hell, let's be honest. Maybe I just got over things so quick because I really am a cold-hearted scorpion woman. You be the judge...

At the end of March, there was a guest staying at the hotel. He wasn't particularly good-looking, but he was nice and he jumped out of airplanes into forest fires for a living, so that was kind of cool. Well, we had a date, it was boring, I wasn't interested, yada yada yada.

Well, he decided, a week later, when I wasn't responding to his phone calls like I should, that he would send me a picture of himself in just a towel.

Really?

When he couldn't reach me on the phone after this incident, he became somewhat of what we 21st century women like to refer to as a "creeper" and called me at work. I proceeded to scold him like a middle-aged mother and his entire group stopped staying at our hotel after that.

I mean really. What are you men thinking?

Let's move on to April of 2008, shall we? Only four months into the year and I agree to be a date to a military ball with another -- GASP-- military man. Aw, they're not so bad and I'm not one to learn my lesson the first time, so let's go for it! After a few dates, I realized this guy, too, was a crazy asshole that thankfully moved across the country before I could do anything remotely damaging to his car out of womanly spite. Oh, and on a side note, I was also seeing his friend who I'd met at this military ball as well...oops, that was wrong of me. But he ended up also being mentally weird and was shortly shipped off far far away. Whew. Got me out of that mess before it got too crazy....

Ah, but let's give the military man ONE more chance, shall we? Okay, here comes May of 2008. We'll pick....hmmmm....let's see....oh I know! The army man who was in a special unit for a year in the middle east who did such unspeakable things that he officially, medically is so mentally unstable that it's a guaranteed roller coaster ride going out with him! Woo, let's do it!

This charming match lasted, oh, let's say a month? I did get furniture moved out of my apartment though, so we'll just say the month of utter, incomprehendable insanity was worth it not to have to hire moving guys or rent a UHAUL.

Oh, love of my life, this is only the beginning. June 2008 was a pretty steady month for me, darling, but it wasn't to last long. Oooohhhh noooo....after several casual here and there one-time "we'll call them dates" with various firefighters and paramedics, I'd sworn off wasting my time with these well-known heroes who you have to respect but would be completely out of your mind to date. Ah, but there was a sweet one who seemed so intelligent that begged and begged and begged me to go out with him. He was six years older than me and seemed to have a level, morally sound head on his shoulders...So, finally, I gave in.

It was a charming first date...if you don't take into account that he talked about his whorish ex-wife the whole time, hated any and everything southern, which made the cute cowgirl boots I was wearing seem a little ridiculous, and when we got to the Mexican restaurant for dinner, wanted to order a salad.

Really? A salad? This was a joke right? It's a Mexican restaurant, not a rabbit food store in California.

What's even better: we didn't even get a cheese dip. WHAT THE HELL? WHO GOES TO A MEXICAN RESTAURANT AND DOESN'T GET CHEESE DIP?? IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?

And you know what I had to get for my beverage on that fine summer evening? Not the marguerita I was so desperately craving, oh no. I had a water, no lemon. That would've been too much color for his personality, which coincidentally resembled that of a wet mop.

Did I mention he went to jail for growing and selling illegal drugs and on top of that, didn't really know or care who was running for presidential office. He was just planning on voting for the one that smoked weed, if he voted at all.

Has your laughter subsided yet, my love?

All right, moving on.

At this point, the experience with this "dude" was sooooo horrible, I was ready to go on a dating fast for a couple months. Oh, but my dear old friends wouldn't let me do that. They all knew this GREAT older guy who was great looking, smart, in shape, shaved head because he was confident in his own skin, and worked a second job not because he had to, but because he loved to bike and this second job was a bike store that provided him all his outdoorsey needs.

Yes, this is exactly how my dearest friends described him to me. They pushed and pushed and pushed me to go out with this man. I'd never been on a blind date and I wasn't gung-ho for it by any means, but finally, I caved in. What the hell, he sounded great. Maybe this would be the start of someone I could just have a good time with.

I show up at the resaurant where I'm supposed to meet him. Incidentally, it is the same Mexican restaurant I'd gone on a date with Pothead to, but this time I was more than determined to get my marguerita.

So I call him once I arrive and he says he's walking across the parking lot towards me and he's wearing a blue shirt. I get out of my car and see a tall, incredibly good-looking man with a shaved head, blue shirt, talking on a cell phone. Immediately, I break into a huge grin, thinking this might actually be a good dating experience. Suddenly, the man gets off his cell phone and goes to a car. Behind him, is a short man with a shaved head in a blue shirt--still on the cell phone with me.

I begin to feel naseous.

He comes up to me with a smile, flashing teeth that are grayed from either a.)years of smoking/dipping or b.)just not having good dental hygiene.

Good. The naseousness is getting worse.

He is the same height as me and the heels I am wearing only lift me up to about 5'5".

I'm feeling lightheaded.

His head is shaved, not because he's confident enough to act like he's the Rock, but because he is balding. Also, he's four years older than I was told--34. Have I mentioned I am an immature 22 and my parents are just 40? Yeah. Feeling dizzy now...

He is wearing an old man blue bowling shirt with chest hair that eerily resembles 1970's shag carpet creeping out of the top of it and slowly crawling up his skinny neck. His voice is about as squeaky as a child molestor's, which considering the age difference, I feel like he might just be that kind of guy.

I'm so sick I feel like I'm about to throw up all over him, or myself, and then go after my friends that set me up with a large ax.

The date didn't last long. After two Texas Margueritas, I was still dead sober and made up an excuse that I had to leave. Despite the fact that there was absolutely NO chemistry, this guy still wanted to go out again. I almost just told him I was a lesbian so he wouldn't call. I refrained from being that dramatic, though.

Not only did my friends make me feel like I was the ugliest, least desirable female on the planet Earth, but they also completely severed our trust. Never again.

Keep in mind, it's still only, oh, August? Yes, August. Still 4 months to go in this oh so wonderful year of 2008.

I begin to attend more fraternity parties since my best friends new boyfriend is the president of a fraternity. It's fun and I am meeting all kinds of cool guys.

I seem to forget they are FRAT GUYS.

We start with the guy who likes to get everybody pregnant and won't quit pestering me to the guy who, at first glance is very cute, but then breaks out techno music and glowsticks, and then moving on to the handful of frat boys who are quite a bit younger than yours truly, yet seem to temporarily gain my fancy because they just seem so darn cute and fun.

Oh, I got over that stage REALLLLL quick. Leave me alone young boys. You have nothing to offer and I don't have time to facebook you every other hour of every day. Yeesh.

Just when I decide that this is really really really really IT--THE END for the year...I mean, it is November at this point and I just want the endless awkward dating cycle to be OVER.

Oh but that would be too easy now wouldn't it? Now here comes the regular guest at the hotel. He seems nice enough. Perfect actually. Very handsome, suave, witty, intelligent, sincere....oh, but guess what? He's still just a 22 year old man. Which makes him the enemy.

We spend hours with each other, just talking, getting to know each other. Finally, I think, "Hey, this one might be semi-normal and a perfectly acceptable possibility to hang out with. Right?"

So we have a date set up, he'll come to the Christmas Party for work with me. Oh, wait, no, that won't happen because after no call and then an awkward night meeting at a bar (I will spare you the details, sweetheart.), the day before the Christmas party, I get a text informing me that he's banging some chick and can't bare to be the bad guy and keep his date with me.

Sigh.

It is December. Finally. New Year's Eve arrives and........GASP! I am completely single and stress free of MEN!!!! YESS!

I didn't mention any of the hospital or hotel creepers that followed me, cornered me in an elevator, or tried to get a kiss out of me in a dark corner. Those are just minor details in my awkward track record this year....

Now, it's 2009 and the beginning of a new Era--a new ME! No more awkward dates, no more wasting time, no more boyfriend! I am on a fast from the male species and I am loving it completely. No, I am not a lesbian, I just am a single female who is getting stuff done and saving a lot of money by being single. Really, during the holidays, it's a lot cheaper to be on your own.

However, I do face one dilemma: Just because I stay away from them, doesn't mean men will stay away from me. I still have that invisible ASSHOLE PSYCHO CREEPER neon sign on my forehead that I just can't seem to get rid of. It's like a magnet in my bones.

Damn. I'm like the Magneto of the dating world. All dangerous shiny objects stick to me ruthlessly in an unavoidable fashion.

Ah. Happy 2009 begins.

I love being stood up over text messaging.

2008-12-16T07:03:00.000-05:00

"Hey. So, I don't think I'll be able to make it to the xmas party tomorrow night. I'm really sorry. Don't be pissed at me. I started talking to another girl and I just don't think I should go. I'm sorry."

This is the text message -- that's right, TEXT MESSAGE...not even courtesy phone call--that I wake up to this afternoon.

Here is the timeline for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about.

In regards to the guy that I was referring to in the last blog I wrote:

On a Tuesday, we hung out, talked for hours, liked each other, it was just perfect. We have it all set up to go to this xmas party together, fabulous. A couple of days go by, don't hear too much from him, however, why worry? I know better than anyone what it's like to have a busy busy lifestyle.
Friday rolls around, hang out a little more, though not too much, and I begin to see a slight sign of a possible different (jerkish) kind of side to this fellow. But hey, he's been drinking. We'll cut him some slack.
Saturday morning -- "Oh, yeah, Tabitha, I'm gonna go buy me some nice khaki pants to dress up for this party. See you on Monday!"

Monday morning = the "I am standing you up and don't even have the balls for a courtesy call" text message.

Yes. The empty seat next to me at the party (because it's reserved for a date) and everyone's expectations that I'm bringing this guy. Luckily, it won't be too embarrassing, because I work with some awesome, wonderful ppl who could care less and love me even when I'm Bridget Jones Dateless.

But I'm just so disappointed. I can't figure it out. What happened to the cool guy that I hung out with less than a week ago? I didn't do anything wrong. How could he turn out to be such a deushbag when he seemed so great and fun?

And how am I supposed to act now when I see him at work, since he is a guest at the hotel? When he says hello or whatever, am I supposed to be all cordial and just say hey like nothing happened. I suppose that'd be the thing to do....to act like it doesn't bother or irritate me.

Sometimes I just get really tired of people wasting my time. Even if it is only a week of my time, that's a week in which I put good thoughts into someone that turned out to not be worth it.

Say What You Mean.

2008-12-13T19:07:00.000-05:00

I know, I know. It's been a while.

Wouldn't it be great if we could just say what we mean? Most of the time, we can with our families or our best friends...but never the opposite sex, really, when dating is introduced into the picture. Even if a serious relationship isn't what you're looking for, there is still an amount of wishy-washiness involved. One moment, it's "Oh, I like you and I'll call you" and the next minute, you're wondering why your phone hasn't rang for a week. What is the deal? Why do we enjoy playing these games?

Is it always this way, I wonder? Even when you get older, is an amount of discreteness required? Why is it so unnacceptable for us to just come out and say either , "Hey, let's just hang out, see where it goes." Or, "Hey, I like you, and I want this to go somewhere important." Either way, serious or not serious, why don't we make our intentions known? Is it because we're afraid the other person won't have those same intentions? Or is it just because we have fun with these games we play with each other?

Well, it's just dumb.

Honesty never killed anybody. I don't understand why honesty scares ppl away from each other. Let me tell you, if I'm not interested in someone, or if I have different intentions than he does, I won't be a bitch about it, but I will be honest. Making someone have false expectations of you is just plain wrong.

I know this sounds like I am having these problems myself, but I assure you, it's not to this bad of an extreme. Yeah, there's a guy I know that I like to hang out with, but that's all I think of him for now. He, for some reason, is a little wishy-washy with things, and I suppose isn't quite sure what he wants. He's a pretty cool person, so this back and forth thing within a week of hanging out with him is a little annoying to say the least. Especially when I've been hanging back, just chilling, cause I am too busy to make a big deal out of anything. .. So, does this not being honest, wishy-washy thing that ppl do make these ppl deushbags, or are they really good ppl that like to be up one minute and down the next?

And you know, I know plenty of ppl who played these types of games with each other when they first met and they're now happily married or happily dating for a while. But when I think about it, if I'm gonna put my time into committing to someone, do I want this person to be all up and down? Is it always this way, even with the love of your life.

Not that I am looking for the love of my life, cause I definitely do NOT want to finish up that chapter of my life at the moment, but still....

Chill out dude, I just wanna hang out once in a while cause I think you're cool and you think I'm cool.

But can I say that? Oh no. That's not following the rules of the game. I've gotta sit back and play it cool with hopes that my frustrations and his wishy-washiness will simmer down enough to have a good time.

But this doesn't just apply to relationships, I don't think. It's everything. Work and school, daily life-to-life. Saving face never solved any problems, so why do we do this? As I get older, I don't. I cherish honesty with ppl. Ppl will always respect you -- even if they don't necessarily like you-- if they always know where they stand with you.

There is a reason for everything, and I guess that includes non-honesty, beating around the bush things. But still, it makes you wonder, WHY? it's such a waste of time to beat around the bush, you know?

Let's Talk Chickens

2008-11-29T16:28:00.000-05:00

So, the holiday season is here!!!! YAY!!!!!

Thanksgiving was awesome this year, as usual. Love my crazy family. I got two Thanksgivings, which was cool. The first was a gathering of all the generations of the family....the location was a cousin's house--pretty much out on the farm.

I want to say first of all, I've never seen so many chicken coops in my entire life. Secondly, I did not realize that God made some chickens the size of a small cow.

No, really.

And some of them were loose from their coops. I ran back into the house very quickly.

Isn't it amazing how roosters and chickens have such small brains, yet I am scared to death of a Chicken attack by these mutant creatures my cousin owns...

Otherwise, Thanksgiving was great. It's always good to see the cousins and aunts and uncles, etc.etc. And eat as much as possible.

I just keep eating. And my mother just keeps cooking and baking. It's like she wants me to gain 150 pounds this year. I am definitely well on my way.

In other news, I saw Twilight last week. AMAZING. Not disappointing at all. Now I am even more hopelessly in love with a fictional vampire. Yes.

Black Friday I had to work. Not as busy as I expected, however there was a report of a 34-year-old man in a New York Wal-Mart who got the unlucky job of opening the doors for customers at 5 a.m. and he was trampled to death. I personally think this should be the end of Black Friday, except for an online sale, maybe. So, so sad. All his co-worker could do was fiend for himself against the crowd and helplessly watch the other poor man meet his untimely demise. So, so sad. Please keep his family in your prayers, for they'll have to deal with this over the holidays, which is especially hard.

Well, I'm still saving money, still not spending, still working a lot, trying to live up to that tightwad family standard. :-)

I just wanna say randomly that I absolutely adore my family, especially as we keep growing. I'm close to them all already, because I was born to such a young mom, I've always felt as though her brothers were my brothers and her parents were my second set of parents...But there are so many different personalities in our family, yet we all compliment each other so well, I think. I see so much sadness and distance between families in my job and it makes me feel incredibly grateful to have such real love among all of my crazy uncles, aunts, and cousins.

On another note, it's really cold outside, but the Christmas music playing everywhere more than makes up for it. I also put up a Christmas tree last night in my bedroom....Love Love Love it. I am crazy about the Christmas season so this entire month is gonna be bliss for me.

Followed by a depressing 23-year-old birthday I'll be having....still not a millionaire. Dammit.

MONEY!!!!

2008-11-24T06:50:00.000-05:00

Well, I just shed a couple tears at an early 6:45 a.m. this morning.....

This may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people out there, but for me, it's a miracle.

I have been working my ass off for the last few months, trying to save as much as I can for school tuition among other countless bills. It's been really tough, really exhausting, and honestly, it's just really sucked not to be able to see any of that money I work so hard to make because I'm paying off past mistakes from over a year ago.

I've become slightly more frugal with my money, thanks to help and support from my mom. The whole allowance thing that was previously mentioned in an earlier blog has been in effect, though not as strict as I expected. But I'm glad. I've done really well on my own absolutely refusing to spend money in all the wrong places. I walked into my favorite store in the mall the other day and nearly hyperventilated because I was surrounded by a million wonderfully affordable things...I had to physically leave the store, which annoyed my sister a little, and rightly so. It made for an unfun shopping experience for her, but i was slightly proud of myself for resisting temptation.

I know, I know, most people don't get the addictions of a shopaholic. However, if you want a little more insight into this "disease", go read "Confessions of a Shopaholic". I really sometimes think this book was written about me. ;-)

Anyway, when I looked at my bank account this morning and saw how much I have saved--I have 1300 bucks resting in my account at this moment. (and for me, that is a feat, for the average amount used to be anywhere between $11-$250 bucks...,that is, if it wasn't negative). Of course, some of that moola will be taken away to pay bills, however, not enough to take this smile off my face.

Finally, all this hard work has paid off. It definitely makes going to work less dreadful, knowing there are rewards for it.

Wow, I feel kind of accomplished. Go me. Woo. And thanks to my mom for supporting me through all my financial woes, too.

Does it always feel this good to make money and save it? It's almost a better high than shopping.

I gotta go get some sleep eye now so I can deposit ANOTHER check in my bank account this afternoon.

God bless everyone, hope it's a good week for you all :-)

Party Poopers

2008-11-15T16:10:00.000-05:00

So.

Does anyone else have a friend who whines and complains about absolutely everything and you can't take him/her anywhere?

Well, I've got one.

For the sake of anyone ever possibly reading this, we'll use code names . . . .we'll simply call the complainer . . . "The Complainer".

I went to WW last night with a group of people. We were having a great time, kicking back, listening to the band, mingling, etc. I was the elected DD for the night, so I wasn't drinking, but I was still having a good time. For those of you who don't know me, I adapt very well to pretty much any environment immediately, so I was completely content just hanging out with my crew. I was fine with the fact that the place wasn't super-crowded or that the band wasn't that great. There were plenty of crazy drunk ppl to watch, plenty of ppl at the bar to mingle with....nobody was really having a bad time.

And then out of the blue.

I'm sitting at the bar, chatting it up, just hanging out. Then, here comes The Complainer in all her glory.

"I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored! This place is horrible horrible awful disgusting lame."

You can only pretend that you don't hear somebody so many times....

Ok, I can compromise.

"Complainer, what would you rather do? Is there someplace else you would rather us go?" I ask her.

"A strip club," she says. Well, hmmmmm. Now, I have nothing against strip clubs....like I said, I can adapt to any situation or environment easily. But then, I think, strip clubs have a cover charge, right? And I am broke....

So I turn to the rest of the group:

"Would any of you guys like to go to a strip club?" I ask. I know the answer already, but to maybe....just possibly...shut The Complainer up for two seconds, I ask anyway.

"No." is the universal answer. I turn to The Complainer.

"Listen," I say. "Give me ten minutes, ok? I don't wanna just ditch everyone." She walks off.

2 minutes later, she reappears at the bar.

"I'm calling my mom to come get me," The Complainer whines. "I just can't stand this place anymore, I wanna go home home home."

I almost told her to get a cab then. But I didn't. I stalled a little longer and then we left.

Never again.

It's funny how as you get older, you find it easier to throw away those aquaintences that just aren't completely 100% compatible with you. I tend to try to look over certain ticks and flaws in my friends, but it's getting to the point where I barely have enough time as it is, so why do I want to be hanging out with ppl that irritate me? No more.

That's why my # of friends is dwindling significantly. I like hanging out with my sisters, my parents, and amazingly enough, the few friends I have left that are tolerable.

On a lighter note, the Twilight movie is coming out next Friday, and I already got tickets for my sister and I to go!!!!! :-) yayayayayayayay!!!! So excited, counting down the days.....it's gonna be awesome......

Now, where's my Edward Cullen?

I hope this offends all the right people.

2008-11-08T16:18:00.000-05:00

Sigh.

At long last, four excruciating days after the election ended, it's time for a blog. I had to wait it out before writing this one....I had to cool off so that there was no mistaken racism or closed-mindedness beneath my text. So, here goes -- I apologize in advance for an shocking or inappropriate or politically incorrect sarcastic comments.

I am a republican. I've been what you'd call a republican leaning towards independent....however, this country is farther from ever from being an independent-party based nation, especially now. Anyway, my point is, I am a republican, and republicans are known to be the opposite of democrats--keeping mum about certain things, being politically correct, polite....not this time.

I'll be quick to admit that when I was 18 years old and went to vote for the first time in the 2004 Bush/Kerry election, I wasn't very politically savvy. I was aware of the broad scope of things...the general issues that the candidates stood for. I also obviously went in the political preferential direction that my family did....which is what all young voters do there first time. Our ideas and opinions on issues and national problems are influenced by how we are raised, and that's not a bad thing.

However, four years later, I am almost 23 years old and I've had time to figure out what I stand for and what I believe is right for this country politically. Now, let me just say that if you know me, you know that I have always gone against the grain, so to speak. One would think that since my parents are republicans, my typical rebellious self would automatically head off to the democratic party because that's how I've always done things. I like to go opposite what I'm told :-) So the fact that I am so strongly republican/independent, that speaks volumes.

Karl Marx was not an idiot. His ideals on communism in theory were genius. The only problem is that he didn't take the fallible nature of human beings into account. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all were hard workers with unbreakable consciences? Wouldn't it be perfect if we all had huge hearts and didn't pillage, or rape or steal or murder? Yes, and in Karl Marx's theory of socialism, it could work if we were all like that.

But we're not. We're human. We're flawed and while most of us are inherantly good, a lot of us are not. Human beings can be lazy and pretentious and selfish and disgusting. And that's how it is, and that's how it will always be. Realistically, we could never survive on this idea of everyone being equal. Because everyone is NOT equal.

Oh, I'm such a horrible person for saying this, right? No, I'm realistic. It doesn't mean I'm racist or closed-minded, or snobby....it's the truth and every half-intelligent person knows this.

We could always go without government and use the whole "Strong over weak" way of life. That would definitely get rid of a lot of the problem in this country...then we could try that whole socialism way of government...not.

So now, let's talk about the Socialist (and possibly anti-christ) that will be residing in the White House for the next 4 years....

Of course I'm upset. I've calmed down a little bit, granted, but I still can't stand the thought of Barack Hussein Obama as president of America. I know, I know....McCain wants us to support him, to try our best to accept the new age of Democrats ruling over America....but I just can't...and I don't feel like I will be able to. Minimal funding for the troops? Pulling out of this war? Distributing the money we work so hard for to people who have 10 kids and won't get out of their dumpy trailers to get a job at even the local CVS? Not focusing on the global issues surrounding on new, efficient energy sources and finding ways to reduce global warming? Universal healthcare so that we can wait in line to see a doctor for 4 months???

While I'm working my 3+ jobs to support the lazier people of the nation, shall I just wait for another September 11th to occur?

This country cannot run on a non-conservative agenda. Sure, everyone wants to see civil liberties distributed fairly....but what is sad is that these kind of things are so trivial when in comparison with national defense, taxes, healthcare, education, and illegal aliens. You want to have a partial birth abortion? Sure, vote for the left side -- it will never happen, no matter what is promised. You want your two male neighbors to be able to marry each other? Okay, that day will come as well, but not now. What's more important to a homosexual couple? Being able to marry or being able to say that you know you'll wake up in the morning to see your loved ones again because the country hasn't been blown apart by international terrorists. Where are our priorities, America??????

This makes me sound like the most closed-minded biggot, but I assure you, that is not the case. I am all for gay-marriage. I refuse to have a negative or positive opinion on early abortions because I've never been in the situation to make a decision on something like that. So, as far as these civil liberties go, do what you do. But as I stated before, there are more important things going on in this country than whether or not you can or can't marry your boyfriend.

I also wanted to point out that Barack Hussein Obama is 6% black. So for all of those who made this presidential election about race, you are an idiot. I'm probably 2% black, would that have been a few more votes for me if I had run for president? This is exactly why we have the electoral college.....so that every moronic vote is not counted in a popular vote election. Oh, and for the black people I know that have thrown out "You didn't vote for Obama because he's not white"....I didn't vote for Obama because of his swaying politics, his lack of support for our troops, our large corporate businesses, and the basic Christian principles that this country survives on. FYI, I also know a few black people that voted for McCain....luckily, it wasn't all about race....oh, in a perfect world.........

And on another note, can people QUIT harping on Bush? He had a rough couple of terms, but not to his fault. Wasn't it Bill Clinton who had the chance to get rid of good ol' Osama Bin Laden? Oh, but he didn't. I won' t go too far into this, but I bet Bush is real happy now to sit back and watch the new President to make some REAL mistakes that the country can bitch about. George Bush will go down as one of the best presidents in history after this 4 years is up. Bet me money....except I won't have any money because I'll be funding trashy lazy asses on welfare. Woo! Go America!

I can't go on about this any longer, except to say that I'll probably be changing my major to Political Science so that I will be able to run for office to make a few needed changes in about 10 years. Wish me luck. Also, please go and review the revelations in your bible....crazy how distinctly similar Obama is to the anti-christ, isn't it? Hmmmm.....

Let me end this by saying Sarah Palin 2012.

God help this nation.

Don't Fall Asleep on a Dog's Bed.

2008-11-03T05:34:00.000-05:00

Hey world,

Time for another blog.
It's been a crazy long week. Work has been a little overwhelming...sometimes these long hours, workin all the time really gets to me. I did have something to look forward to, however -- Halloween was Friday and I went to a really great Halloween party that night. I made some pretty awesome jello shooters and since you can't really taste the liquor in the jello....you realize you've had a little too much a little too late :-) Yes, I got a little sick the next morning, but I managed to drag myself to work, swearing that I will never ever ever drink again. Stay tuned on that one.
I dressed up as a witch, and turned out no one else really does the witch costume anymore -- unless they're like, 8 years old--so no one copied my costume! yay:)
I also wonder if the male species will get on my nerves forever. Sure, it's fun partying with all these really great guys, getting to know all of them ....but I so quickly just want to come back home and revert to the hermit I've enjoyed being for the last few months. Maybe because a guy just can't make a grilled cheese sandwich like my mom can or give me a neck chop like my dad. It makes me wonder sometimes if I will ever find a person to run WITH me...because I'm all over the place and I can't have a normal boyfriend, that'd get old real fast. I'm not particularly looking for anything like that at the moment....I've got too much else that I'm focused on now, but I"m such an odd girl....it's gonna take a very unique boy to keep my interest. I guess just being around so many different guys lately has made me think about that a little...hmmmm....
In other news, I fell asleep on a dog bed Friday night, so now I'm sick with allergies and a swollen throat. I know, I know, I am a genius.
In other news, i can't wait to start some new classes in January. I also found out when I went to register Friday that it will take me about 10 more years to finish college. Yay. Looks like working two jobs is in my future for quite sometime.
Ah, evil evil credit cards. Love them.
As of now, that's as interesting as my life gets. Maybe things will spice up soon....until then, buh-bye and happy late halloween/super fun time change..

Glowsticks, what the hell.

2008-10-20T10:16:00.000-04:00

Here's a short and sweet one:
I've had a really crap weekend...I've gotten maybe 12 hours sleep total between friday-monday. So I'm a little cranky when it comes to dealing with idiots and ppl that smell.
I almost died Satuday...what's new, right? I am Tabitha, after all...Some genius brought a glowstick to show me, i was bored, starting chewing on, thinking, "oh yeah, there's a one in a million chance this tiny thing could bust". Well, guess what everyone?
It blew up in my mouth. In case you guys didn't know, that stuff is really toxic...and it tastes horrible, and i couldn't feel the entire left side of my mouth for over an hour. Luckily, i was nearby the e.r.....I was strongly advised to call poison control, but I decided against it since i really don't have that kinda time in my life....i didn't actually swallow any, so i eventually regained feeling in my mouth and I' m not dead, so I think I'm in the clear. But it sucks 'cause my mouth didn't even glow....wouldn't have even been worth it to die, with no glowing tongue.
I gotta go work now. Since that is my life and that is all I do.

Nobody better ever whine to me again about working all the time or being tired. I will push you out in front of a truck if you do. Because if I can work on 12 hours sleep in three days, and have almost died because of a damn glowstick, then you can work your wimpy 8 hour shift.
The end.

Let Me Read Your Horoscopes For You, Friends.

2008-10-11T18:00:00.000-04:00

Well, another day, another blog.

First of all, I want to give a shout out to my dad for sending me a picture that made me almost pee my pants, I laughed so hard.

I don't care who you're voting for, that's funny.

In other news of the week:

Stayed with some friends near Helen last night, and tonight after work. Unfortunately, we did not go to Oktoberfest like I'd thought, they went today while I was at work :( , which really is a bummer 'cause i really wanted to go. But I still met a lot of cool people and it was fun, and I didn't spend any money which is really good for me. And you know what was crazy? I've been on this really selfish kick for a few months...not wanting to really seriously date, if even casually actually. I've just been focusing a lot on me and my stuff and family and I like it that way. I like it being all about me and my stuff. I really surprised myself last night though because I met a ton of really good looking, really nice guys and I just wasn't into it. I was just in my own little selfish world, doing my own thing. So uninterested. SO unlike me, usually I'm the biggest, most charming (;) ) flirt on earth, but I guess I'm just a boring old lady now.

I did learn that my mom's specialty knowledge in horoscopes has really rubbed off on me...;) ha ha, because after a few drinks, I knew everyone's sign and told them all about themselves. Even the bad things. These are a couple of quotes from Tabitha last night:

"Oh my god, that is such a Pisces thing to do! WHEN is your birthday?"

"Leo? There is NOOOO way you are a Leo, you are way too quiet."

"Oh......an Aries huh? I am SOOOO sorry for you. Everyone hates Aries."

"I'm a Capricorn, which is the most undesirable sign in the zodiac. But I have a really fantastic moon sign."

"What's a moon sign? Oh my God, I wish I had my Astrology book with me so I could tell you yours. It's gotta be a Cancer, I'm guessing....give me your number, I'll call you when I look it up."

No, really. That happened. I was out of control.

Also, I'm already bad with names, but there were so many people there, that I could NOT remember anyone's names.....so I had a system. One guy was from Miami, so his name was "Miami". One guy had on a blue shirt...guess what his name was? "Blue". "You're my boy, Blue!" That got thrown out there a lot. I also learned that I am just as bad playing pool when I've been drinking, as I am when I have not been drinking. Though I'm less obsessed with winning when I've had a few beers.

I'm such a dork and it was in action last night, BIG TIME. I'm just gonna sit back and relax tonight and be that girl in the corner. Okay, realistically, I could never be that girl, but I can try to be quiet for once in my life. Right?

On an even FUNNIER note, my mother is my personal finance director/accountant now. Yes, I have reverted back to a 16 year old whose mommy gives her an allowance every month.

Apparently, even though I am an expert on horoscopes, I can't handle money, cook, or sew. That's why I talk a lot...I gotta make up for those lacking domesticated skills.

So, I'm giving MAMA my money, she's helping me keep track of it...she's basically trying yet again to teach me to be frugal. It's like I'm an alcoholic, except it's a spending-money-o-holic. I need therapy, apparently.

Overall, it's been an OK week at work and stuff, and I'm glad I got this weekend to hang out with friends. Working all the time really weighs on me sometimes. My lovely grandfather made me a feast for breakfast this morning, too, which makes everything in life better of course:)

Peace and Love. ~

The Healthy Way of Living Sucks.

2008-10-04T18:25:00.000-04:00

Helloooo, all, time yet again for another entertaining blog from the crazy life of yours truly...

FINALLY!
I got a shift at the hotel from 3pm to 11pm--love it! I really do meet the most interesting ppl! Especially bikers. No, not "bicyclers"....please. Motorcycle Bikers. Love them. So outgoing, so funny, so great! And my dad is one of those guys, makes me proud:)
A guest also asked me if I wanted some dinner from a restaurant he went to, which was nice. I love nice ppl.

Not a lot has been going on...my mother got me drunk last night over something she made me, which she calls a "white russian"...really what this "beverage" should be called is "Straight Vodka With A Pinch of Chocolate Syrup" . That's why I love my mother. So creative:-)

That didn't help the health kick that I'm on at the moment, which includes meal-replacement shakes and a healthy dinner entree. It's tough. I like to eat. Good stuff. Full meals. Three to four times a day. But I also enjoy wearing a swimsuit and single digit pants, so I have to pick and choose. I thought about continuing my unhealthy eating habits so I could land myself a prime spot on "The Biggest Loser", however, I'm too vain to ever let it go that far...yeah. I said it. I'm in love with myself. It's a sin, maybe that's why that random dude tried to "save" me last weekend.

I will keep you updated with my progress at getting healthier. As of the moment, I'm about to starve and really want a pizza. Like, a whole pizza.

Let's talk about my hospital work this week. Went to the crazy insane asylum next door and my co-worker decides to ask this lady who is diagnosed with DEPRESSION, among other ailments, how she is doing. Really? What do you think her answer is gonna be, genius? "Oh, I'm just fabulous, I love it here, love being tied to my bed."
No, her answer was a long, drawn out (but I will put it in a nutshell for you here) --"I hate everyone, my life, and the asshole doctors and nurses here. Oh, and I think I might have TB."

Whoa there. TB, huh? I took a step back and ran to find a nurse, just to double check on that. In case you don't know, readers, TB is TUBERCULOSIS. It kills, it's airborne. yikes.
Turns out, she really was just crazy and had a small cough.

Oktoberfest is next weekend--I'm gonna go to the festivities next Friday with some buddies, I'm super-excited...never been before, it should be interesting.

Well, I've been saved

2008-09-30T05:40:00.000-04:00

So it's been a week or so since I've last 'blogged'...with good reason. I've been really busy with mostly work, so it's just same-ol-same-ol...nothing new to report.
It's always interesting to work in a hotel. I meet so many different people from so many different places. Tonight, I was checking in some guests here at work, when one guest came up to me and started asking me if I thought I was going to Heaven...my first instinct was to be a smart aleck and tell him, "No, I'm pretty sure I'm going to Hell in a handbasket." However, I refrained and told him yes, I was content in believing that I'd make it to Heaven. He followed up with some other religious questions, to which I was only half-listening, because I personally am not big on sharing my spiritual beliefs with other people. It's too much of a touchy subject and to each his own. However, then, all of the sudden, this guy grabs my hand and makes me repeat after him -- a.k.a., he saved me to Jesus.

It was awkward.

Ok. Do I look like I'm an inherently evil human being who needs to be saved to God? Do I come across as someone who looks as though she hasn't already formed her relationship with God and all that?

All right, all right, I know he's just doing his job --preaching/missioning his beliefs off onto people. But number one -- don't touch me, you're a stranger. And number two, I think I look like a nice girl, someone who's got it together, so why does he think I'm some big sinner that he can send straight to the Lord?
I was creeped out a little by this guy. His approach was less than, well, Holy.

The night only gets better.

Some man comes downstairs and tells me that everything in our hotel's business room is broken. The printer, the phone, the stapler........
Weird. Everything was working just fine before he went in there. So I go check it. Oh, whaddya know?!!
The phone works, he just didn't follow the BIG BOLD DIRECTIONS ON THE PHONE to dial out.
The stapler was jammed with a little staple that I pulled out in 2.5 seconds' time.
The printer door was open. I closed it. It printed.
Ha. Funny. I love really smart people like that. Love.

THEN,
Some lady calls me around 5:30 a.m. and lets me know that there has been loud, booming, heavy metal music playing above her all night and she wants something done about it. I have to bite my tongue so I don't ask her why she didn't complain about it earlier, if it'd really been going on all night. . . So, I went and checked it out. Nothing. Nada. No noise. Not even a loud breeze against the windows.

Hmmmm....

Again, people like this are going to drive me into hermit-ism. That's right. I just created that word, consider it trademarked. Smart, huh?
Not as smart as these folks I dealt with tonight though....

Also, according to a boss of mine, when I asked what was the game plan for employees if people couldn't find gas to make it to work. I quote her reply: "This isn't forseen as an issue. We're not worried about it, but will deal with it between myself and the supervisors"
Oh, it's not an issue, huh?
Interesting.
Someone tell me where the hell they're getting gas daily, since this "isn't an issue". I guess maybe my bossy doesn't have CNN or regular cable. Or maybe she has a Vespa and hasn't had to fill up in a while. Maybe she has a 10-speed bicycle, even....

I've got one word to sum up this past week:
Hermit-ism.

Won't have to worry about that "not an issue" with gas then, now will I?

Dedicated to Daddy-O.

2008-09-16T05:10:00.000-04:00

Well, I first want to say that I dedicate this blog post to my incredibly humorous father. In his delightful smart-aleck way, he inquired excitedly as to whether I would be posting another blog tonight. So here it is, Dad! Just for you!!!!

I'm working tonight at the hotel and am faced with a perplexing question...are there any gentleman still out in this world?

Almost as soon as I got here tonight, a very handsome guy greeted me as he walked by, and then, decided to ask me if I wanted to come up to his room later. Really, sir? Really? Definitely not. And definitely not the first time it's happened at this job...
So this leads me to wonder what exactly makes a man believe that he can say something like this to a woman? We're not in a bar, we're not drinking...it's not even tolerable then, those are the guys you give the ol', "I gotta go to the bathroom" excuse and never come back.
I wasn't asking for it -- not dressed promiscuously at all, not talking, not even making eye contact with this fellow. So what made him think it was acceptable to ask for a cat call? Hmmmm...
Then it leads me ponder the thought that perhaps there are women out there who accept this kind of thing and are okay with it.

Not this lady. Ugly, inappropriate men need not apply. Even though I may look like a perfectly nice and polite girl, I don't do sympathy dates, or 'cat calls' for that matter. Thanks and have a great day.

On a lighter note, I have the entire day off tomorrow, which I look forward to filling with sleep and not spending money. Oh, isn't life grand?

Number One.

2008-09-14T03:34:00.000-04:00

So, I'm finally doing the blog thing.

I got the idea to finally step up to the 21st century and do a blog because my sister Brandi Jo's blog is 1) pretty cute, and 2) a good way to keep up with what's going on in her life. Since I'm 90-to-nothing all the time with work and school, I don't have a lot of time to talk to the fam or friends as much, so here's my way to let everyone know all the craziness goin' on in my busy life.

As of now, I work two jobs. I am an EKG Tech at the big hospital in Gainesville, Georgia and I do night auditing for the Hampton Inn. I love both my jobs, but between them, I work about 60-ish hours a week.

At the hospital, I do a lot of crazy stuff. The job description on paper is simple -- do EKG's and hook up moniters all day long on patients. But in reality, it's so much more. I work all over the hospital, on every floor -- even in the E.R. I have to know every heart rhythm that the heart is able to beat out and I have to be able to spot a heart attack or any other critical heart rhythm in a split-second. I see everything from bloody trauma to death to medical miracles. Needless to say, it's definitely changed me as a person, both for the best, and unfortunately, not the best.

The hotel is a little more simple. Just dealing with a lot of numbers, meeting a lot of interesting people with interesting jobs. It's a really great place to network for me for when I actually have a real career and move outta Mom and Pop's house ;-) My boss is so good to me and the people that I work with are all so interesting.

Flopping from days to nights and nights to days is hard on me, but you've gotta do what you've gotta do. I'm saving money for school and other things that I need, and I'm very content with living back at home with the parents and my lovely sisters.

Needless to say, with working all the time, I don't have time for much of a social life...but luckily, because I work so much, I'm never bored, so things kind of even out. I'm still waiting to figure out what I want to do with my life, so stay tuned...